3.2 Kill Ari: Part 2:

Ziva: You are a broken TAPE, Gibbs.
Tony: Record. A broken record.

3.4 Silver War:

Ziva (to Tony): Are you going undercover as a homo?
Tony: Hobo, the term is hobo.
Ziva: “You might want to do something about your hair… it’s sticking up like a PORCUSWINE… oh, wrong words… a PORCU… PIG?” “The little animal with the little spiky tips!?”
McGee: “Porcupine?”
Ziva: “Porcupine! Thank you, Special Agent McGee.”

Ziva: “It appears he didn’t know… I feel like a DONKEY’S “BUTT”
McGee: “Donkey’s butt?”
Tony: “I think she meant Horse’s A$$, McGee.

3.5 Switch:

Tony: I don’t know. Look at the guy. He’s such a…
Ziva: PIMP
Tony and McGee *in unison*: Wimp.

Ziva: Once he saw us at Norfolk, he must have taken a KITE.
Tony: Hike. The expression is taking a hike.
McGee: She may have had it confused with go fly a kite.

3.6 Voyeur’s Web:

Ziva: I’ve been meaning to ask you about that, Tony. How does a fifteen year old boy go about meeting a COQUETTE?
McGee in the elevator: She means Rockette, boss.

Tony: Didnt you see the signs? Its yard sale day.
Ziva: I see. And do Marines sell their yards often?

3.7 Honor Code:

Ziva: … The boy has remarkable memory. There’s also someone here from SOCIAL SECURITY to pick him up.
Gibbs: Services, Ziva. Social Security is for older people.

Ziva: “…The man is spic and SPAM”
Tony: “The saying is spic and span. Spam is lunch meat.”
Ziva: “Oh. What exactly is span, then?”
Tony: “Span is I’ll get back to you on that.”

3.8 Under Covers:

Ziva: Look who’s calling the POT black.
Tony: Kettle. The pot is calling the kettle black.

Ziva: It calms my mind. Forces me to stay focused at the JOB IN MY HAND.
Tony: The terms job at hand.

3.9 Frame-Up:

Tony: Where is she?
Ziva: Shes probably PASSED ON BY NOW.
McGee: The term is passed out.

3.10 Probie:

Ziva: Halligan’s on the GOAT. Oh, no! Not goat. SHEEP?
McGee: Lam?
Ziva: That’s it.
Tony: Hes on the lam. There’s no B in that, by the way.

3.12 Boxed In:

Ziva: I think we’ve just been SCREWED IN HERE, Tony.
Tony: The term is bolted.

Tony: I’m not getting any reception. How about you?
Ziva: I’m BRALESS.
Tony: I noticed that earlier. But on your phone they’re ‘bars’.

Ziva: That’s quaint. We’d be like the HOMOS in those old movies.
Tony: Hobos, not homos.

3.13 Deception:

Ziva: Don’t worry, Abby. Some times its hard to see the JUNGLE THROUGH THE FERNS. (Forest for the trees.)

Ziva: Does a bear SIT in the woods?
Ross Logan: Are you the crackerjack team on this job?
Tony: She’s Israeli.
Ziva: Look, I know I got the bear thing right.

3.14 Light Sleeper:

Ziva: I’ve learned from Gibbs that in certain cases you can attract far more BEES with honey
Tony: Flies.
Ziva: What do flies have to do with honey?
Tony: Flies don’t like vinegar.
Ziva: Vinegar?
Tony: It’s complicated.

3.15 Head Case:

Ziva: If the GLUE STICKS?
McGee: Shoe fits.

3.17 Ravenous:

Ziva: Do you mind if I grab a BAT NAP?
Ziva: That is not bad, Tony. Landis asked me out tonight. I said ‘no’. I don’t want him to think I’m SLEAZY.
Tony: That term is easy.

Ziva: Great! Hell be like finding a PIN in a haystack.
Tony: A needle in a haystack.

3.18 Bait:

Ziva: “… cameras through the vents here and here. Both were taped shut. Cody was covering his PLATES.
Tony: Bases.

Ziva: She asked if you had the CALZONES for this, yes?
Tony: Cojones.

3.19 Iced:

Ziva: I think Tony is jerking your BRAIN.
McGee: Chain? Jerking my chain?
Ziva: So now your image is HOMOPUBIC?
Tony: The term is homophobic and no. Prejudice of any kind is an ugly thing.

3.20 Untouchable:

Ziva: This woman is a total TURD! A geek, yes?
Tony: The term is nerd.

3.21 Bloodbath:

Ziva: And your lawyer is going to try and use her bad taste in men to IMPREGNATE her credibility.
Tony: Impugn, Ziva!

3.22 Jeopardy:

Ziva: Well, you’re the one who said ‘no’ to the muzzle, Tony. I wanted to shut his POT hole two hours ago.
Brian Dempsy: It’s pie hole. And by the way, we went through the Arbys drive through. No such thing as a RIDE-through. How long have you lived here anyway?

Ziva: Everyone’s avoiding me! Do they think I’m going to lose control, just enter the building and massacre everyone? I mean, I’m being treated like a LEOPARD.
Ducky: I believe the phrase is ‘like a leper’.

3.23 Hiatus: Part 1:

Ziva: Ducky, DRIP it!
Ducky: Do you mean: Drop it or Zip it
Ziva: Ah, American idioms drive me up the HALL.
Ducky: Well, actually… never mind.

Ziva: I’ve asked Tel Aviv if Captain Mahir is a BLIMP on their radar.
Tony: Blip.

3.24 Hiatus: Part 2:

Ziva: Okay. But you’re TYING MY FEET.
Tony: Hands.
Ziva: Those, too.

Shepard: …when Pinpin handed him Galib’s passport it was good enough…
Ziva: To pass the MUSTARD.
McGee: Muster, not mustard.

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